ship-jumper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A new way of grocery shopping Ok I am so stealing all of the following verbatim because I think it is so funny. I deplore going to the grocery store. I hate everything about grocery shopping. The author of this article I stumbled upon shares my dislikes, and had some cute ideas to make the grocery experience a little more interesting! Full credit is given to Daniel Jimenz who posted this article on bankrate.com: How can grocery stores make shopping more consumer friendly? I hate going to the grocery store because it's such a tedious experience. Week after week, we trudge down to the local grocer and grab our shopping cart with the one sticky wheel for an hour-long spin at the House of High Prices. It's not like I have a choice on the matter either since I've grown accustomed to eating on a daily basis. I know that the stores try to please customers by giving us lots of selections, but as someone who pretty much buys the same stuff every time, I'm duly unimpressed by their efforts. The only excitement I get anymore comes from deftly maneuvering my shopping cart to dodge all the blue-haired ladies that get in my way. Traffic around the store would probably flow a lot smoother if they just added turn signals and horns to all the shopping carts. Unfortunately, we'd always wind up having that one person who goes around the whole store with their left blinker on the entire time. I've heard that supermarkets are great places for meeting singles, although I'm skeptical whether that's true. I can't imagine feeling very amorous as I'm sitting in the produce section trying to pick out fresh zucchini. A relative recently told me about a grocery store in Austin, Texas that would hold weekly singles nights featuring games such as bowling with a roll of toilet paper to knock down paper towel dispensers. That's a nice try by management, but I'm going to need more than that to keep me amused. Here are my suggestions on how to make grocery shopping more exciting: Introduce random pricing one night a week. Things would really get interesting if you had no idea how much items cost until you reached the check out counter. Imagine your excitement at paying only $1.99 for five pounds of prime rib! Imagine your disappointment at paying $8.99 for a bag of Doritos! This promotion would also serve as a cheap diversion for gambling addicts. Ten minute sales. Remember the Kmart blue light specials? I can already envision a mad rush toward the frozen food section as the store manager announces that Klondike Bars are 20 percent off for the next 10 minutes. Grocery bag switching. Once you're finished shopping, store employees take your bags and replace them with someone else's. Obviously, there are advantages and disadvantages to taking someone else's groceries home. Pros: If you don't look in the bags until you get home then it feels sort of like opening Christmas presents. Cons: You may be the unlucky fool who winds up with 20 pounds of dog food and cat litter despite not having any pets. I guess food shopping is not quite as embarrassing as going to the drug store can be when I think about it. There is much less of a chance that you'll be paying for your purchase when suddenly the cashier uses the loud speaker to announce, "We need a price check on the extra-strength laxatives." And there ya have it. The grocery store that does this will have me as a loyal and participating customer, just for having the gonads to do such things! 1:09 p.m. - 2007-11-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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