ship-jumper's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Border Crossing=Cereal Killings One mistakenly assumes they can just show up at a border, sign some papers after swearing to various statements, and meld right into the country they pursue as their home. Not so easy. And in all those sworn statements nobody asked me to swear acceptance of their packaging practices. actually, it is quite comical. The hardest thing about being here? The drag? Not enough reading material in the mornings on the cereal boxes! I'm sorry, but one thing that makes forcing food in my face before I am awake let alone my digestive system, is the promise of stupid facts, information and nutritional hogwash awaiting for my reading on the cereal box. I love reading cereal boxes. Even if I've read a certain box already, I peruse the same box the following morning and enjoy it while hoping I may just stumble upon something I missed previously. I don't like to eat right away in the morning. Reading a cereal box is the lure to do the right thing and put powerful food-stuff in my body right out of the chute instead of waiting my typical 4 or 5 hours. Here. Breakfast. Cereal box. Sit and eat. Read. Can't read...no no no. One first has to maneuver the box this way and that to find the English version of the box rather than the French version. If you are lucky the French and English are on their respective sides. Typically however this is not the case. No. One English sentence followed by a French sentence. One English description of the nutritional, vitamin packed energy in ever bite followed immediately with the French version in repetition. Piss on it! I don't get it. Yes, French is the second language here, but I am not in Quebec where it is actually preferred. Every package of everything you buy is multi-lingual. A box of nails comes versed in duplicity for Pete’s sake! Who cares to know the description of nail material when needing to just smack two sheets of plywood together?? For all I care on that one they could put it in Swahili. Nobody reads those boxes anyway. However, here in my new homeland I am bamboozled with both French and English on everything I read. Whether it is my cereal box, a box of nails, a jug of milk, (oh sorry, they don't have jugs of milk here. Milk comes in a plastic bag!!), chips, chocolate bars, and even underarm deodorant and traffic signs! Funny thing is I haven't learned a lick of French yet. I haven't retained any of it. The subliminality of it all is not working on me! (Yes, I make up words from time to time) I don't remember nor can I recall any French. My mornings are now disrupted as it is sometimes way too stressful flipping the box to and fro hunting for the English version that I almost want to just not even attempt any longer. Years of my morning tradition basically left at the border. Worst thing about all of this? Think hard everyone as it is so flipping obvious it'll bite you in your slumpy bum you are sitting on while surfing everyone's entries on dland. Figure it...two languages...hello????????? Two languages on my cereal box one of which I can't read. That means simply, that I only get to read HALF of the cereal box. And if you take it further....since they are creating room for two languages on the box, then I'm getting not only half a box of reading but also half of half of what SHOULD be on the box! They have edited half of what I shouldn't read on each half of the box...get it????? I've been robbed. When it all pans out I am ONLY getting one quarter the reading material that I would get on my cereal boxes if I was in the States still. How can I be expected to wake up with that little amount of distraction? I need more time than that, and more stuff on my box!!Piss on it!! (I am still referring to the CEREAL box you perv's! Lawdy!) It is truly a bummer and I will need to research a new ritual for my mornings. Or, you great dlanders in the States could send me some boxes of cereal. Cap'n Crunch peanut butter rocks and has a wonderful amount of activity and reading material to keep one busy thru even two bowls of cereal. Grape Nuts is fabulous, and while I can't recall the box at this exact moment, I just love the taste of Life Cereal so you could send that too! Is it enough of a disappointment to reconsider my move across border lines? 1:46 p.m. - 2007-04-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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